Updated: Oct 4, 2021
My September, the month which seemed to disappear before my eyes.
Back to the Bulgari spa for another glorious break, however this particular post is less of a focus on the spa and more on a specific therapist; Marzena Zawaszka.
My serendipitous stroke of luck meant I was allocated Marzana, a leading beauty therapist in London. She kindly exchanged my full body for a luxurious personalised massage combining reflexology, pressure point therapy and myofascial release (her specialty). Marzana thoughtfully tailored the treatment to my body's needs, attending to all the areas which needed to be restored, and that required a little more care. This combination of therapies helped encourage the body to heal itself, allowing me to feel more in flow, balanced - and well and truly pampered..
I left my bountiful Bulgari break feeling like the queen I am. For those who regularly read this, you will know by now I am particular, and Marzena blew me out of the water with this treatment.
As the oldest patisserie in our capital, Maison Berteaux has been an institution in Soho since the 19th century. I first discovered this bakery on “Hot Spot Hunters” blog, As soon as my eyes spotted their beauty oI an almond croissant, I was in a spot of hot and bother- from inner pangs thirsting to hunt this pastry out.
The generous size of Maison Bertaux almond croissant is both alluring and intimidating. Delicately sweet, the soft buttery casing shatters from the first bite. Almond frangipane oozes out, generous filling which many croissants in London now lack. Each bite is pure bliss, I may have found my new favourite almond croissant.
On a dreary Friday morning, my breakfast date provided a moment of self care and some gentle escapism, dreaming of France. Dreaming of being taken somewhere other. Somewhere different. A small lucid moment in time where I could escape the hustle and bustle of our capital, to trade its energy zapping dynamism for tranquility, peace, and a little bit of Parisian chic.
I do recognise that this is another solo choice, over my regular list. However as someone who has historically had treatment for anorexia, I do look very forward to sharing the “taste” section as it more than simply something I ate. It is an act of rebellion against many of the limiting beliefs which were deeply engrained in my subconscious. Sadly, these beliefs are only reinforced externally, by diet culture, the media, friends, family, the list goes on. Many of us are blissfully unaware of the things we say about ourselves whether internally, or to others.
So whilst I consciously took myself on a pastry date, I also recognise that it offered more than physical nourishment. It wasn't simply “this was delicious” it offered a huge f*ck you to diet culture, the media, any many other sources, who have told me (and all females) to keep as small as possible. Because if we stay as small as possible, in every aspect, we will be more desirable. It is something to aim for. So, moments like these are acts of self care, they change this narrative to one where I can experience pleasure, joy, spontaneity.. And that I can take up space in this world.
Naturally, I returned the following week, to reinforce my act of rebellion. Thank you MB x
Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast: Episode 121 Melissa Wood Tepperberg pt.2
You know those people you instantly like... whether its in an interview, a podcast, even in the street? Well, Melissa Wood Tepperberg aka Melissa Wood Health is that person for me. I came across her on the “Expanded” podcast just over a year ago, where I found her ability to emotionally expose herself, and offer up her vulnerabilities, even in the face of the uncertainty uniquely refreshing. Her honesty (and not spiritual bypassing/ toxic positivity) really stuck a chord with me. And as someone who has battled a lot of the topics she shares; disordered eating, poor relationship with self. She's someone who I see a lot of myself in, and I think that's her appeal.
Her advice "to follow the things which light you" up has been a game changer, and a pillar of stability for me. In times where I doubt my path, or what I'm meant to be here to do... if I am able enough, special enough... or even if I have wasted time in my career, and life. This very piece of advice has been the glimmer of light which has helped push me,, when I have wanted to give up. When I have felt like a 29 year old failure without a career. When I have hated my body, hated pretty much everything about myself and have wanted to crawl into a hole... even if the things around me are so beautiful, and others would only dream of having a life like this. This piece of advice, helps zaps me out of guilt, shame for feeling this way.
As I have continued to follow what lights me up, I have supported myself in restoring my weight, I asked for help from multiple sources, I have chosen to put myself first, to prioritise my emotional, physical and spiritual needs. This advice as better helped me build a relationship to myself which has only enhanced my intuition, my relationship with others, to differentiate when I am doing something out of people pleasing and old ingrained habits, or from a healthy place. This piece of advice, to follow what lights you up, has helped drown out the all of the negative voices as it offers hope. Its one step forward. One thing at a time.
When you start trusting in hope and love, and following that one small light, the things which seemed so hard, often become a lot easier. And then light, gets bigger and bigger.
So in summary, the podcast I above is great. Melissa is great. And thank you Melissa, for being a QUEEN!
No galleries, not much nature and a lot of confusion about where this month has gone. The greatest sight I saw, is an unusual one. One I didn't expect to have written, let alone shared. I often find it challenging to celebrate my achievements, however I want to take a new stance on this. The reason being, is that commitment I have taken in the past 6 weeks to better myself has been one of the most difficult, dark, hard, yet rewarding experiences I have had.
The greatest sight(s) I saw this month, was an increase in my physical weight, a reversal of osteopenia, improved bloods, therapy breakthroughs… and of being accepted into University.
It's been hard, but as Glennon Doyle says “you have to do the work”.
Alexis Smart's name has been on my radar for quite some time, and. After purchasing her “First Aid” kit in August, I naturally wanted to wait until trialling her flower remedy before writing a review.
Alexis is a flower remedy practitioner, basing her remedies on the original 38 flower essences of Dr. Edward Bach. Her products are made by hand in small batches and from organic, biodynamic and wild harvested British flowers.
As someone who is passionate about the healing power of plants, and that is navigating a transitional time (in the backdrop of the current climate) I am always open to trying new, natural remedies to add to my tool kit. My inner drive for growth in many of the areas I have felt stuck, stagnant, and even hopeless in, has come leaps and bounds this past month, with my new flower remedies by my side. So, after a month of Alexis Smart’s “First Aid Kit”, I can certainly say that this is a keeper.
Funny back story of purchasing: One morning I thought to myself “I want to buy Alexis Smarts products. *adds to notes*. Later that day I listened to a podcast where they mentioned Alexis, I rethought *must buy products*.... Immediately after I walked into Wilder Botanicals for a browse, where I spot her “First Aid Kit”. Wilder had ONE remaining! ANDDDD they are only ONE OF THREE UK stockists…. It only felt right that I bought it.
(I was unsure where to categorise this, I have chosen smell based on the ingredients over the physical smell.)
Quote of the Month
“Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory”. - Jim Carey